Friday, September 20, 2013

Kankar: A Hot Debating Point?

Disclaimer:  The following blog states my views and my views alone.  Others may have different opinions and that's fine.  Everyone has a right to their own belief.  These are mine.



When Kankar first began, the show was criticized for being too "Daam"-esqu.  No one quite knew what to expect, other than a disapproving mother-in-law in Kiran's near future.  No one expected this Fahad Mustafa-Sanam Baloch drama to not only be the current hot-favorite, but also be the source of an explosive discussion among Pakistani drama fans.

For those who haven't been watching, let's recap:  Kiran (Sanam Baloch) comes from a less-than-well-off background, while Sikandar comes from a wealthy family.  He meets Kiran through his about-to-be fiancee, Arzoo and decides that he would much rather marry Kiran.  He is met with all sorts of opposition, including from Kiran herself, but does everything in his power to get his way.  Finally, the two marry and Sikandar is the perfect husband who spoils his wife and does everything he can to please her.....initially.



When their problems first showed up on the screen, I did, like many others, believe that Kiran was at fault.  When she went to her mother's home without asking her husband, I was confused as to why she didn't expect that reaction from Sikandar.  We do come from a society in which a woman is expected to, at the least, inform her spouse of where she is going.  Despite that, Sikandar discussed the situation with her, told her that in the future, she should ask him before leaving and that was it.  He asked her to apologize and drop it.  I thought he was being pretty reasonable.  When Kiran continued to be stubborn and rude regarding Sikandar's reaction, I thought "Wow, she is making a mountain out of a molehill."

Up to this point, I think most fans of the drama were on the same page regarding Kiran's immaturity.  Then the situation (in the drama) took a a slightly different course in the form of:  A SLAP.



This is where I believe the split in views occurred.  Is a slap abuse?  Some different views that I have seen on different social media sites:

 It's her fault, because she pushed him.  :  He's a nice person and he loves Kiran a lot - he was just mad, so she should forgive him. :  Taali ek haath se nahin bajti. :  Us ne Kiran ke saath acha nahin kiya, lekin Kiran ke bhi mistakes hain kuch.  :  She should not have argued with him.

What a coward!  How dare he hit Kiran!  :  Kiran was being illogical, but he didn't have the right to hit her.  :  Ek laath maarni chahiye!

At what point does anger turn into abuse?  I think that's the issue Pakistani society has with this drama.  Some believe Kiran's immaturity and "big mouth" was the bigger issue and hence, she "deserved" it.  While others like myself believe that this is the limit and a woman should not subject herself to that sort of abuse.  "It's just a slap."  - Is a slap not considered abuse?

This is all getting into a very tricky subject, but the point is that this show has triggered a lot of debate.  The best thing is that Umera Ahmed has written her characters so well that you can identify with both sides.

Yes, some people have their opinions about Sikandar (myself included), but look at his background - his father abused his mother and that's what he's seen his entire life.  We are given glimpses of Sikandar's thoughts when alone - he fights with his inner self and doesn't understand if what he's doing is right or wrong.  He's encouraged by his friends to keep his wife under his thumb.  He has a mother who has been the victim of abuse and has accepted it as "normal," so she fills his ears against his wife.
On the other end, you have Kiran who was the apple of her father's eye.  She came from a less than wealthy family, but always had high dreams, had well-off friends, aspired for something more.  She dreamed of a life of luxury and drove her family crazy with her constant wants.  She seemed spoiled - but is she a bad person?  Immature maybe and we see that immaturity in her fights with Sikandar.  If Sikandar can't control his anger and hand, Kiran is also unable to control her mouth.  It's these complex characters that make this drama so intriguing.

My own opinion:  The drama at this point is really interesting and I'm always waiting for the next to see what happens.  I think the character of Sikandar is a messed up person who needs psychological help, because he's struggling internally with himself.  I think for Kiran to go back to him would be foolish.  He did, after all, "kill" their child.  That said, let's wait and see!

Happy watching!

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