Dastak — A Window Into Divorce In Pakistan

 

Pakistani dramas are Pakistan’s largest entertainment medium. This is Pakistan’s greatest entertainment export, as Pakistani dramas are now viewed across borders and even across continents. And while our content tends to be painted with the broad stroke of “saas bahu stories,” there are many stories with depth. Recently, “Tan Man Neel O Neel” grabbed eyeballs with its unexpected, shocking tale of mob violence and how herd-think can destroy lives. While dramas like “Tan Man Neel O Neel” are every-so-often-gems, there are other writers and directors out there striving to tell different stories — case in point, “Dastak.”

“Dastak” follows Saif (Feroz Kadri) and Kiran (Sohai Ali Abro), a couple thrown together through the arranged marriage process. While Kiran enters the marriage with a positive outlook, Saif has been (quite literally) forced into the union, betraying the love of his life in the process. On the outlook, “Dastak” is a typical story of a woman being mistreated by her husband, a woman forced to endure grief from her spouse while he continues to maintain romantic relationships outside the marriage. But as the story begins to undwind, the audience can see the layers unfolding of this incredibly real, human story. 

How many marriages in Pakistan are arranged? Do we do enough research as a society before trusting a man to take our daughters into their lives and provide them with happiness? Is it enough to simply look at “good families”? In “Dastak,” we see that while Saif is aggressive with Kiran, he’s also a man with his own hang-ups, a man who was in an emotionally committed relationship for years, before being pushed into a marriage against his will by his manipulative parents. His parents had their own reasons for rejecting the marriage and have been nothing but supportive and loving towards Kiran, their daughter-in-law. But as Kiran rightly states — does a woman get married to earn the love of her mother-in-law? Isn’t it every woman’s right to be loved and respected within a marriage? Shouldn’t basic kindness be part of the package? 

As Saif plans his marriage to Fariyal (Momina Iqbal), Kiran plans for divorce — an option Saif does not agree to. Why? Because Pakistani society promotes this idea that divorce should be avoided at all costs. Divorce is not good for children — but is it great for a child to see his neglected, heartbroken mother while his father spends time with a different family? 

Ultimately, “Dastak” is the story of divorce, of how Pakistani society sees divorce and how that attitude is used to control women and chain them to toxic husbands — particularly when they have children. Kiran is a representation of so many women, women who are threatened with losing their children, woman who are taunted with divorce if they protest, women persuaded by their families to compromise. But do these women not deserve happiness and a promising future of their own? Why are these shackles reserved only for women in Pakistani society? Does having a child mean the end of the road for a woman while a man can build a new future?

The performances here are excellent, particularly Sohai Ali Abro’s, who has become this innocent, sweet character who stands tall and defiant on behalf of her child. Kiran is willing to take neglect for herself, but not for her child and it’s in these moments of anger and emotional breakdowns where Sohai shines. Feroz Kadri is also a stand-out performer as Saif, a man torn between his responsibility and love. Saif could be an out-and-out villain, but he isn’t. He’s a character who is struggling with himself. Is he a good man? He doesn’t consider himself a bad man. He just wants to be free to love who he wants — but now saddled with a wife and child, he tries to justify his actions by not divorcing Kiran……though this action is also riddled with selfishness, a need for a caregiver for his mother. 

There’s a silver lining to this story in the form of Ali Raza’s Moiz, a young man who was in love with Kiran in college. The overall pretext of “Dastak” appears to be optimistic, promoting the possibility of second chances at love and positive co-parenting relationships. We can only hope we can see Kiran’s life move towards happiness — but for now, “Dastak” is a realistic, almost upsettingly so, take on the perception of divorce in Pakistan. Can a show like this be a teaching moment?